“In the end you can’t always choose what to keep. You can only choose how you let it go.” ~ Ally Condie
This summer has taught me a lot about letting go. I’ve never been good with losing things close to me. Then again I doubt there are many people out there who are. College is a big step in a person’s life. You are going from walking down the hall in school and seeing all of your friends to being miles and miles away from them. Each person is now living in their own world.
Tonight, I just got back from my friend’s house. She leaves tomorrow so she had everyone who was still at home over to just hang out and say goodbye. I’m usually a really emotional person and I thought leaving for college would be something I could never handle but surprisingly I haven’t cried once when saying goodbye to people. I have strengthened relationships important to me to the point where I don’t need to be upset about leaving them physically for a couple months at a time. I mean in this day and age, technology makes it so easy to keep in touch between texting, facebook, and skype, you cant miss people too much. But watching other people get emotional made me feel like something was wrong with me that I wasn’t getting emotional. I mean me of all people. The one who cried herself to sleep the nights before graduation because I didn’t want to leave my friends. I guess I’ve just learned how to take a better hold on my life and learned to choose the way I let things go.
The girls house I went to tonight was my best friend up until about a week ago. I didn’t get to choose loosing her but I did choose how I handled it. That has made all the difference in my state-of-mind with leaving her behind and entering college. I chose to forget about her for awhile and do my own thing. And sure right now things are hard and really awkward and tense but I know that there is this whole road ahead of me and I can’t let this hinder it. I really want her to be in my life but I know right now that’s not for the best so instead of brooding over it and letting my emotions block my path. I decided to embrace this as a learning experience. I hope she is using this in the same way. I think if we are truly important to each other and an important part in each others’ lives, then we won’t truly be gone. It will just be a little hiatus. It hurts everyday loosing her but I know I’m making the right choice in how I handle this for both of us and everyday dealing gets a little easier. We are both off this weekend to accomplish big things.
Dealing with this loss has also helped me to see the other great friendships I had in my life. I guess I was so blinded by the friendship I had with her that I didn’t see the amazing people beside me the whole time and supporting me through it all. It offered me the opportunity to make sure I maintained those relationships because in the end they were what got me through the day. We’ve all said our goodbyes but we know they’re not forever.