“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.” ~ Charles Dickens
Why do we have to be a secret to other people? Is it so bad to open up to people? How do we know when the right time is? Above all, how do we know that they won’t hurt us in the end?
When we tell someone all of our secrets, we leave ourselves vulnerable, open to pain and suffering. But at the same time keeping it all in causes pain and suffering as well. Why are these decisions so hard to make? Deciding who to trust shouldn’t be as hard as it actually is. We all need someone we can trust, we can’t live our lives alone. That’s not healthy. So why do we test people so much when it comes to trust? If we need someone so bad we should willingly be able to share ourselves with them without the worry that they will hurt us. If we have that doubt in our minds then maybe our subconscious is right. We shouldn’t trust them from the start. We should go with our gut. If we want to open up to someone, then we should. We shouldn’t worry about being judged for wearing our heart on our sleeve. Yes, we may get hurt, but then again who doesn’t at some point. We will get hurt just the same by building up walls.
Why is acceptable to tell a therapist, someone who is a complete stranger, our life story so they can help us, but if we tell a friend too much we risk getting hurt and we are seen as being weak? Why is expressing our emotions and feelings so frowned upon? I understand that there is a draw to the unknown and the mysterious. Don’t people realize though that those who are secretive and mysterious are just looking for someone to open them up; someone to break them down so they can share their story with them. So why must we be a mystery and a secret to each other? If we feel the need to share ourselves with someone, we should. We don’t need to wait and test their loyalty because they may just give up before that point. They may already believe that you are the person you pretend to be. At that point it’s too late. So follow your instincts, if you think you can trust the person then I say ‘Why not, go for it!’, life’s too short to worry about things like that. You can spend your whole life waiting for the person to share your mystery with, the person who you can trust completely. By that point, your mystery will eat you away. You’ll pretend to be someone to keep your secret a mystery to the point where you won’t be the person you were. You won’t be you.
Secrets are only good when shared. When it’s only with yourself, it’s destructive. Just follow your heart.